Now this would be quite the ticket
Sunday, October 5th, 2008If you had told me a few months ago that come October, the Vice Presidential debate would feature an unknown Governor of Alaska with a striking resemblance to Tina Fey and the Dodgers would easily cruise through the first round of the NLDS with the help from a Hall of Famer poached from Boston, I would’ve had you committed for being crazy. But here we are, the first week of October, and I watched a hockey mom in the VP debate and the Dodgers win their first playoff series in 20 years all in one week.
Before any of this transpired, there was a common theme between these two unlikely “heroes.” Manny Ramirez had always been in the sports spotlight for having a tempermental, sometimes flat-out lazy attitude, yet revered as an unbelieveable athlete. In fact, I don’t think I ever heard the phrase “[Any Name Here] being [Repeat Name Here]” until “Manny being Manny” became the excuse for whenever, for good or for bad, Man Ram flaunted his unique personality. So it didn’t surprise me when Sarah Palin showed her true naivete in some less than flattering interviews with Katie Couric, the Republican pundits started pleading to McCain’s handlers to just let “Palin be Palin.” In her case, this meant let her use her adorable persona and folksy sayings laden with a heavy Fargo-esque accent to forever warm the hearts of the American people.
With this in mind, I natually began to wonder if I could conjure up more similarities between Ramirez and Palin. Sure enough, I was able to put together a list pretty easily…
- Hair: Both can pull off an excellent looking bouffant. Manny’s is more of a concession for Joe Torre’s clubhouse rules of being “clean-cut.” He stuffed his dreadlocks into a skullcap and deemed this sufficient for the “cut” that was requested. Palin’s perfected updo has caused much commotion which I’m sure will translate to hairstylists across America being asked to create the “Sarah” just in time for Homecoming.
- Accent: Being born and raised in the Dominican Republic, Manny has an endearing Spanish-tinged accent where “Dodgers” is prounounced “Doyers” and the “t” is optional. Coming from the small town of Wasilia, Alaska, Sarah also has an accent where “Nuclear” is prounounced “Nucular,” the “g” at the end of words is optional, and multi-syllabic words are oftentimes shortened, you betcha’!
- Fanbase: It has been engrained into our brains that Palin appeals to the “regular” citizens of this country, like hockey moms and “Joe Six-packs.” Manny also fills the stadiums with said regular folks, like die-hard baseball enthusiasts and “Joe (or Jose at Chavez Ravine) Six-packs.”
- Kids Names: In similar fashion to George Foreman, Manny named 2 of his sons Manny. Weird but not as weird as the Palin parents naming their offspring non-sequiters like Bristol, Track, Trig, Willow and Piper. What would your Palin name be?
- X-Factor: When John McCain selected Governor Palin as his running mate, it was deemed a “hail mary pass.” It reeked of a desperate ploy to re-engergize his party and consitiuents to stave off Obama’s steady rise in the polls. There was initial skepticism, but once her voice was heard at the RNC and she rose above all expectations, there wasn’t a thing Sarah Palin could say or do that would lower her stock. Similarly, on July 31, 2008, Manuel “Manny” Aristides Ramírez Onelcida was traded to the Dodgers for a few dispendable players and NO MONEY (yes, no money), giving Dodger fans all over heart palpatations for what this meant for the rest of the season and beyond. Much like the star he was in Boston, he quickly became the second coming of Christ in the southland. Manny could basically be Manny any time of day as long as his bat kept hitting those balls (which it has). It’s odd how just one person can wholly effect the resurgence of a ticket/team.
So as you can see, 2 people who you would never think are similar, are actually quite the same. I will even admit that if both of them win at the end of all this, I will be crying. The only difference is that in one case they will be tears of joy and in the other case, well yah kno’…
