Buying a Budonkadonk
Wednesday, August 20th, 2008If you haven’t been living under a rock the last week or so, then you’ve been hearing news and/or watching the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. Buried in the headlines of Michael Phelps’ record-breaking 8 gold medals and Usain “Lightning” Bolt’s record-breaking sprints, there is the story/controversy surrounding the Chinese female gymnasts being under the required age of 16. Sure they look young, but being Chinese myself, I wouldn’t be surprised if they aren’t only “of age” but are really well into their 20s.Â
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The Chinese genetic makeup simply lacks the “curve” DNA, making grown women look like teenagers (Heck…Just a few months ago I was mistaken for a 16-year-old by one of my parents’ friends). My only scientific conclusion is that thousands of years eating rice and soy sauce has stunted the growth of breasts, butts, and bodies in general. While I am grateful of having ample girls up front (thanks, Mom!), I have all too often lamented the fact that I have no booty. In today’s climate, where J. Lo’s claim to fame is her rear and Kim KardASShian’s only ounce of talent comes from behind, it’s tough to be little in the middle and have ZERO back.
I recently stumbled upon a site that featured the Butt Bra which thorougly intrigued me. Think about it. Women wear bras with uncomfortable underwires that dig into their chest just to perk up the mammaries. So why wouldn’t you do the same to make your gluteus a little more maximus? There are several makes and models of the Butt Bra, some looking more S&M than others, but all of them have the same purpose of making your wildest Kardashian-esque fantasies come true.
I’m not 100% convinced that this contraption will do anything for me, but I can’t help but be curious to see what it can do. While I write this post mostly tongue-in-cheek (pun DEFINITELY intended), don’t be surprised if you see me in the future with a tad more junk in the trunk.
